after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
