hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
