I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
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