you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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