My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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