I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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