Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
he high fived his dick after we had sex
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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