are you still at the devil's house?
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
