Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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