Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
