Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
