ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
