So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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