Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
