I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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