based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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