So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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