I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
My balls are so social today.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
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