You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
We are all done wearing pants today
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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