I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
