wat bout pragnant strippers??
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
