i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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