Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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