I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize