Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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