North Korea, Best Korea!
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
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