Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Randomize
