I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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