we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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