i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Randomize
