i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I could fuck to npr.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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