I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
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