well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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