Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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