if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Even my vagina gasped.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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