Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I deserve this hangover.
Randomize
