She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Alive.
So much puke
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Randomize
