Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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