i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
You are a genius and a whore.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Randomize
