Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
