exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
