come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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