I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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