not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
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