Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
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