Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
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