so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
