my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
