who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
Acid is not a monday night drug
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Randomize
