Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize