first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Randomize
