You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
