He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
