so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize