operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
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