Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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