That's when you crack a 10am beer
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
