where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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