Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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