fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Randomize