Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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