420 ftw
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
