Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
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