They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize