where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
