so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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